


I'll Sing in the Sea of Light

by shiningparty



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst, Camus exists..., Family Dinners, Family Feels, brief mention of Reiji and Ranmaru, we stan Ai finally having a family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:22:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24876880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiningparty/pseuds/shiningparty
Summary: Ai has a very unconventional family. First, there's the professor: the man who made Ai. They had a relationship like father and son and enjoyed each other's company. Ai gave the professor the son he never had and the nephew he lost. Then there's Kisaragi Aine: the idol Ai is based on. With Aine back in the picture, Ai doesn't see much use for himself anymore. It wouldn't be long before they got rid of him. So why invite him to a "family dinner?"
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi! Happy 10th anniversary utapri! I don't really write fanfic often but I wanted to do something special since the franchise is turning 10 this year. I may make this into a series with the other boys but who knows. Hope y'all enjoy baby's first fanfic!

“I have to go home.” That was the only thought that crossed Ai’s mind the entire morning. From the moment he woke up to when he stepped into the studio for the album photoshoot, all that mattered anymore was going home. Luckily, his distracted nature did not disrupt the photoshoot as he was always conscious of his position and posing in relation to the other members of Quartet Night. However, they were quick to note his lack of commentary throughout the day. There were no harsh criticisms, nor were there any sharp rebuttals to arguments. It got to a point where Reiji decided to feel along Ai’s forehead to make sure he hadn’t gotten a fever. 

“I’m fine.” He stated hurriedly once Reiji removed his palm. The older man crossed his arms with a skeptical gaze. 

“You sure about that? You’ve been pretty out of it all day.” Ai averted his gaze to another part of the room, cursing Reiji’s skillful perception. 

“I’m not sure what you mean.” He said. 

“You’re usually always keeping us in line and making sure we’re doing things right, but today you just seem gone. I’m worried about you, Ai-Ai.” He attempted to place a hand on his shoulder, but Ai grabbed it before he could even go near the fabric of his shirt. He didn’t want Reiji to feel how much he was trembling. Then that would lead to more questions. Invasive questions. Questions that do not need to be answered at this moment. 

“I assure you I’m okay. Just a little fatigued is all.” That wasn’t entirely a lie. He did feel fatigued from the other day, just not for the reasons most would assume. The better phrase to use would be emotionally drained. Reiji seemed to notice this the longer he stared into his eyes, but eventually gave up the matter as he took note of Ranmaru and Camus arguing once more. He looked back at Ai one last time, his eyes seeming distant and sad, before turning to face the other two men. 

“Take care of yourself, okay?” He said. Ai nodded in agreement as he gripped onto the water bottle in his hands. His fingers were quaking and even his leg had begun to jitter underneath him. Once again, that singular thought came to mind. He had to go home. He was supposed to visit his family.   
This was supposed to be a joyous occasion. He should have been jittery with excitement, not fear. And yet, from the moment the professor had called to tell Ai that he wanted to have dinner with him and Aine, Ai’s body had become a trembling mess. Were humans this nervous when it came to visiting family? Maybe that was the issue. Because he wasn’t human. No, he was an android masking himself as a person; even worse, a different person. And now he was expected to play along and act as if he had a happy little family. He didn’t deserve a family. He didn’t deserve anything. He was a toy, a doll that was now thrown away because he served his purpose. Now that Aine was back, he was going to be pushed to the back of the toy box, never to be seen again. He was-- 

“Ai!” His jumbled thoughts came to a halt as he looked up to see Ranmaru standing above him. His bass was slinked over his shoulder and his sunglasses were placed on his face to avoid people staring at his eyes. The entire room was empty, the lights now dimmed to a dull white.

“Photoshoot’s over. We’re headin’ out now.” He explained. Ai nodded in understanding before grabbing his own things and following behind him. He chose to stay silent in fear that striking conversation would only lead to the same uncomfortable line of questioning he experienced with Reiji. Though Ranmaru wasn’t as perceptive as Reiji, he definitely wasn’t an idiot when it came to noticing if someone was upset. He truly was an older brother in that respect. The elevator slowly pulled open and allowed the two men inside before closing to descend to the bottom floor. At first, the two continued their moment of silence, the only sounds coming from the soft movements of Ranmaru’s bass rubbing against the fabric of his jacket or the squeak of Ai’s sneakers on the ground when he adjusted his footing. Why did their photoshoot have to be on the top floor? 

“So,” Ranmaru stated halfway through the dropdown. “You got any plans tonight?” The question was innocent enough. Ai knew he had no bad intentions by bringing up the topic, just a way of finding entertainment while they waited to be released. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and struggled to make himself sound convincing. 

“Nothing special.” He stated. “I’m just going home for the evening.” He darted his eyes to await Ranmaru’s response, fearful that he would call him out on his vague lie. Instead, Ranmaru merely tossed his arm behind his head with a low sigh. 

“You’re lucky,” He said. “Juri wants me to come over and help her study for some dumb chemistry exam. I told her I’m not good at science and shit like that, but she says all I have to do is read the cards.”   
Ai released a small chuckle at his story, finding himself somehow relaxed by the anecdote. Recently, Ranmaru had made an effort to become connected in his younger sister’s life again after their previous time apart due to family issues. Seeing how he normally acted in comparison to how he acted with Juri was like night and day. Despite his seemingly intimidating appearance, he was a good big brother and would do everything in his power to make sure that his sister was happy. Ai thought back to what awaited him at home and became solemn once more. 

“Can I ask you something?” The words came out of his mouth before he could even stop himself. Ranmaru looked over with a puzzled expression. 

“What’s up?” He asked. 

“How was it talking to Juri again? Were you nervous at all about how she would react? Did you think that she would hate you?” Heat blossomed in the pit of Ai’s stomach, but he ignored the sensation as he stared at Ranmaru. There was a certain determination and longing in his eyes that Ranmaru noticed, but said nothing of as he formulated his response.

“Jesus, am I in the hot seat or some shit?” He muttered to himself. Ai bowed his head slightly as he continued to stare at the older man. 

“My apologies. I was just curious, is all.” He said. Ranmaru scratched at his hair for a bit before turning back to him with a stern gaze. 

“To tell you the truth, yeah, I was scared shitless about meeting Juri again. Seven years is a long time. I didn’t know if Giulietta had corrupted her or if she hated me after abandoning her for so long. I nearly bolted as soon as I stood in front of the door, but part of me knew that there was no point in running away from it. If it’s something you want, you have to run forward and take it for yourself.” 

DING! The elevator doors pulled open once more to reveal the bottom floor, now vacant except for a few of the photoshoot staff. Ai hurried out and took in a deep breath as he was finally released from the metal contraption. He had never been claustrophobic before, but something about being trapped and having to answer personal questions just made confining spaces even more daunting. He walked out to the plaza, opening his phone to see where the taxi was waiting for him. A large palm placed itself onto his shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze and causing his eyes to look up once more. 

“Kid,” Ranmaru began. “Remember, even if you can carry someone else on your back, you can’t do the same with yourself.” With that, he left to grab his bike, waving his hand without so much as turning around to face him. Ai fluttered his eyes as he processed the words, unable to immediately identify their relevance. It was a lyric from their last duet song, Haruhana, but what did that have to do with anything they were previously discussing? Ranmaru truly was an enigma. 

BEEP-BEEP! The taxi horn blared out, bringing Ai back to reality and forcing him to realize just what was to come next. He had to go home. He was supposed to meet his family.


	2. Part 2

The ride to the house was silent. No music, no residual noise, only the feverish thoughts that jumped around Ai’s mind like a raging beehive. To say that he was scared was an understatement. To an outsider’s perspective, one might think he was overthinking his visit to see family, but even ‘family’ didn’t feel like the right word to describe his living situation. There was Professor Kisaragi, the man who made Ai. He was a bit of a recluse but ultimately a genius. He was skilled in both medical training and robotics, which made him a valuable asset to Shining Saotome. He could easily get distracted when it came to work, but he tried to make time for Ai whenever he could, much to Ai’s dismay. The professor always tried to be an active part of Ai’s life, although Ai was convinced that he doesn’t truly care about him. The professor claims that Ai is reaching his “moody teen” phase, and though Ai doesn’t completely comprehend what it means, he knows that it isn’t a good thing. For a while, it was just Ai and the professor, leading a makeshift father-son relationship. However, this became muddied once Aine came into the picture. 

Kisaragi Aine, former teen idol and movie star, now a normal person who lives away from people. Ai remembers first seeing Aine in a magazine, those soft blue eyes and cyan hair causing his skin to crawl. It was like looking in a mirror. He assumed that the image must have stained his mind considering he dreamed of Aine that same night, just as beautiful as he had appeared on the cover. At first, they didn’t say anything, just acknowledged each other’s presence, and watched the sunset. However, as time went on, and the dreams became more frequent, Ai and Aine had formed their own special connection. 

They talked about anything and everything: dreams, music, feelings, fears, even just simple things like the weather. Talks like those are what kept Ai going. He had found someone who truly understood him in a way no one else would. When the professor finally revealed that Aine was hooked up to Ai through a neural network, it all seemed to come together at that point. No wonder the two had gotten so close; it was because they were practically the same person. From then on, Ai couldn’t look at Aine the same. Initially, Aine was a friend, a mentor, but now he was a mirror image. Aine was the original while Ai was the derivative. And something about that was horrifying in its own right. 

Naturally, the two started to drift apart. The more time Ai had with Aine, the more real it became that he wouldn’t be needed anymore. Aine had become stronger, taking over Ai’s body at times to voice his opinions or deter Ai from engaging in something he feared. He was a puppet being pulled by imaginary strings, and it wouldn’t be long before the professor cut them off. There were a few nights he woke up crying at the idea that he would be thrown away once Aine came around. And eventually, that day did come. Aine woke up just five months ago, which meant that the professor had his nephew back and Saotome got his star idol. There was no room for Ai in that equation. And yet, they still hadn’t thrown him away. 

He suspected it was because they were waiting for Aine to fully recover. Right now, he was wheelchair-bound and still had trouble being completely mobile. He still managed to stand and walk at times, which the professor assumed was because of Ai’s connection, so it wouldn’t be long before he was completely ready to return to the world. And when that happened, Ai would just be a spare, stowed away somewhere. He could feel a sticky nauseousness start to coat his stomach, but fought the urge to release it as they rode into the driveway. Now was not the time to get emotional; he had to pull himself together and get this night over with. 

Once the driver had parked, Ai slowly opened the door and mumbled a thank you as he headed towards the entrance of the beach house. It was far enough in the city that they didn’t have many neighbors, which was convenient for the number of secrets the professor had stored inside. The scent of sea salt and ocean breeze perfumed the air. Usually, this would comfort Ai in times of distress, but now he just felt even sicker. He tentatively knocked on the door, before snatching his hand back and waiting for an answer. Approximately three seconds past before the door was swung open to reveal Professor Kisaragi, his face lit up with a gentle smile. 

“Ai! I’m glad you could make it.” He stated. Ai feigned a smile as he entered the home, greeted by the scent of grilled fish and roasted vegetables. Soft jazz music played from a speaker somewhere in the house, and he could hear the warming sounds of someone harmonizing with the song. Their voice was like an angel and it didn’t take long to identify the source. Aine sat in front of the kitchen counter, washing the dishes with a small smile. His movements had a gentleness to them that reminded Ai of a movie scene, but that thought was quickly disrupted as Aine finally turned to acknowledge him. 

“Ai!” He greeted enthusiastically. “How have you been?” Ai shrugged his shoulders with a blank expression. 

“Fine.” Was his buzzer-beater response. Aine seemed unphased by how cold he seemed as he wiped his hands on a dishtowel. 

“That’s good to hear. You had work today, right?” 

“Yes, we were working on a photoshoot for our new album.” He explained.

“Right, right,” Aine said. “Fly to the Future, right? I listened to the preview the other day and you all sound wonderful. You’ve definitely come a long way from your first single.” 

It was true, compared to their previous grievances and constant outbursts, Quartet Night had managed to become more unified over the years. They had become something like a little family to Ai, which made it all the more strange to have another one with two people he felt like he barely knew. 

“Yeah, compared to Quartet☆Night, you guys have definitely grown both as performers and people.” The professor added. “Especially you, Ai. It makes me happy to see you enjoy singing so much.” Ai dug his hands into his pockets as a bitter taste coated his tongue. 

“It only makes sense, I was programmed to be an idol, after all.” Aine and the professor shared a glance, their faces hiding concern. 

“Dinner’s almost ready,” Aine said with a tight smile. “We’re just waiting on the rice.” He wheeled himself to the dining room and took a seat, gesturing for Ai to come join him. Ai mentally kicked himself as he noted the apparent awkwardness. At this point, they should just get rid of him now to spare themselves the trouble of dealing with his constant mood swings. 

“So, what’s it like working with Quartet Night? You all seem like you get along a lot more, nowadays.” Aine asked as Ai entered his seat. The young man shrugged as he leaned onto the table.

“It can be frustrating at times, but also very rewarding. Each member has taught me something new about myself.” 

The professor smiled at his sentiment. 

“That’s good to hear. I know I was worried when Saotome first stated that he wanted you to work with a bunch of adults. I thought you might get overwhelmed.” 

Ai narrowed his eyes with a bitter frown. 

“I’m not a child.” He said. 

“I know that, but you can’t blame me for wanting to dote on you! I practically raised you.” 

Ai could feel that nauseousness snake its way up his throat. He swallowed hard as the jitters began to shake his leg once more.

“Uncle’s always been like that! Even on your hardest days, you always make time for us.” Aine noted. The two smiled at each other before turning to Ai and expecting him to do the same. The nauseousness was still thick and unsettling, which caused his face to remain placid but bordered on looking repulsed. Luckily, they were saved from the awkward silence as the rice cooker began to ring out. 

“Let me go make plates,” Aine stated as he began to roll back. His uncle held up his hand rose from the table. 

“I’ll help.” He stated. The two went over to the cupboards and formed a neat assembly line. The professor grabbed the bowls and handed them to Aine, who then fitted them with fresh rice, a piece of fish, and some vegetables. They worked completely in sync, each movement following a steady pace like a metronome. They didn’t need Ai. They were happy enough with each other. Three wasn’t just a crowd, it was unnecessary. 

“Hope you like it,” Aine stated as he placed a bowl down in front of him. Ai stared at the contents as that same nausea distorted the scent into something foul. 

“I don’t need to eat. My body does not receive any purpose from it.” He noted. Aine frowned a little as he went to sit beside him. 

“I know, but eating is a communal thing. I want you to feel part of the family.” He explained. The sickness in his stomach transformed to heat then: raw, burning heat. He didn’t know where the heat came from and who it was directed at, all he knew was that it meant he was angry. Once everyone was seated, they each blessed the meal before beginning to eat. The room was filled with the sound of chopsticks clinking against porcelain bowls and the soft chews and swallows as the two parties ate. Ai continued to stare down and stir his bowl. 

“So,” Aine stated after a while. “What’s Quartet Night up to these days, what with this new album and stuff coming out?” Ai buried his vegetables into the sea of rice. 

“We’ve been working on preparing for our next concert: Maji Love Kingdom. It’s supposed to be a joint collab between Shining Agency and Raging Entertainment. We’re focusing on our new album right now, but we have tonight off.” 

“That sounds nice.” The professor said as he lifted his glass to his lips. “I wonder what the others are doing.” 

“Camus said something about having tea with Natsuki. Ranmaru is supposed to be helping his little sister study, and I believe Reiji is going to visit his mother in Saitama.” Aine perked up at the mention of his old lover’s name, though he quickly tried to hide his interest as he drank some of his water. 

“It’s good that you all have some time to spend time with family. Looks like Shining must’ve loosened up a bit, huh?” He joked. Ai continued to bury his food deeper into the rice, ensuring that every last piece sank to the bottom. 

“I guess so. Although we don’t get many days off, it is nice to have time to ourselves every once in a while.” 

“That’s true,” Aine replied. “I know back when Reiji and I were still rookies, we would be stuck working from morning till night around the clock. I remember one year, we ended up spending Christmas together because Shining had us scheduled for a concert that day.”  
Ai counted to himself as he waited for the dreaded question to finally appear. 

“How’s Reiji been, by the way?” There it was. He couldn’t blame him, really. Reiji was one of the most influential parts of Aine’s life. Which, of course, made it all the more painful that Ai had to work with him. He’d never forget the first day they met each other how Reiji muttered Aine’s name like a mantra. At first, he thought it was just an isolated incident, but it kept happening more and more the longer they worked together. 

_Can you pass me my script, Aine?_

_Did you finish your work, Aine?_

_C’mon, Aine!_

_I’m sorry, Aine!_

_Aine, please listen to me!_

_Aine, don’t leave!_

_Aine, Aine, Aine, Aine, Aine, Aine, Aine, Aine, Aine, Aine, Aine, Aine, Aine, Ai-_

“Ai.” Ai fluttered his eyes for a moment as he became aware of his surroundings. 

“I’m sorry, did you call for me?” The professor formed his lips into a tight frown as he stared at the boy. 

“We’ve been calling you for a bit now. Is everything alright?” He asked. Ai looked down at his bowl for a moment. The rice had spilled out from the sides and landed on the table in thick clumps. 

“I’m going to go outside for a bit.” He pushed himself from the table and hurried to the door without another word. He didn’t turn around when Aine called out to him. He didn’t turn around when he heard the professor rise from his seat. All that mattered was leaving before the tears started. By the time he reached the sandy dunes of the beach, his face was now soaked with tears, blotting on his shirt and falling into the sand like drops of rain. He leaned towards the ground and sobbed, not so loud that he would be heard, but not so soft so as not to silence himself. He could feel that raw heat burning his chest and face, making his cries even more unbearable. He was too tired to scream, too tired to argue, all he wanted to do was release whatever this feeling was before it dragged him under like a riptide. 

“Ai.” Was the soft voice from behind him. Ai released another shaky breath as he looked up to meet Aine’s gaze. His eyes were warm and solemn, though that meant nothing to Ai at the moment. He turned his attention back to the ocean, staring as the waves lapped at the shore with white froth. It was like a pulse, steady, and rhythmic in nature. The two sat there and listened to the sounds of the ocean, completely entranced by its music. No words were necessary. They found comfort in the simple beauties of life itself. After a while, Ai’s sobs became less frequent and his breathing was more uniform. Aine reached down to place a soft hand against his back, but Ai flinched from the touch. 

“Don’t.” He muttered. They fell to silence once more. The sun was beginning to set, the reds and oranges now transforming to rich purples and blues. It was breathtaking, the way the sky could become a canvas filled with every color imaginable. 

“Do you wanna hear a story?” Another voice asked. A deeper voice. The professor. Both boys focused their attention on the ocean, never daring to look towards him as they continued to enjoy their moment together. The professor took their lack of acknowledgment as a motion to continue.

“There once was a professor who had an android named A.I. The professor loved the A.I. dearly, but he had no idea what to do with him. One day, the professor went outside and saw the sunset. The sky was a beautiful indigo color, and that was the moment he realized he wanted his A.I. to become human. From that day forward, he named his android Ai.” 

Ai dug his hand deep into the sand, grabbing onto a clump of grains before allowing it all to slip through his fingers. He was used to this story by now, the story of how the professor named him. It was one of the few things that made Ai actually enjoy his name. 

“Ai, you’re one of the best things that have ever happened to me. Why don’t you seem to believe me when I say it?” 

Ai dug and drained more sand, enjoying the coarse feeling against his synthetic skin. He had always enjoyed the feeling of different textures, especially textures he wasn’t used to. 

“It’s just that,” He began. “I know that you didn’t create me on purpose. My original purpose was to be a replacement for Aine. I’m programmed to be exactly like him so that I could take his place until he returned. And, now that he’s back…” His voice trailed off for a moment, the sheer thought of saying it causing more tears to form in his eyes. His voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke, fighting off the urge to break off into a disgusting sob. The professor kneeled down beside him, wrapping his arms around him as he placed his head onto his chest. He could hear the drumming of the professor’s heart flood his ears. A sound he would never have for himself. 

“I’m sorry.” The professor stated. “I realize now that you and Aine are your own people and I’m ashamed it took me so long to figure that out. But I want you to know that no matter what, I love you. You’re like a son to me. I can’t imagine a life without you in it.” As he spoke, Ai could hear the tears start to lace the professor’s voice and cause it to crack. He strained to keep most of them in, but some spilled out and landed on Ai’s cheek in small blobs.

“In the end with a smile, I hope I don’t cry. So, I absolutely won’t forget today. “I will live on within you.” For this love, thank you. Bye-bye, my dear.” The voice was smooth and controlled, but still held the powerful emotions that made the song special. Ai looked up to stare at Aine, whose face remained staring straight ahead without a shred of emotion. 

“That’s…” He muttered. Aine’s hair was lifted in the air by the sea breeze, revealing how watery his eyes were. 

“Winter Blossom,” He said. “It was the first thing I heard when I woke up. The first time I heard you sing.” A single tear slipped from Aine’s eyes and rolled down his cheek. “I’ll admit, I was scared at first. Hearing my voice come from someone else’s mouth. I thought you were replacing me. That’s part of the reason why I kept taking over your body for myself. I wanted to make sure that they didn’t forget about me. But, when I met you in the White World, everything changed. 

“I realized you were just a kid. You had no hand in the decisions they were making. I honestly felt sorry that people kept comparing you to me, treating us as equals. Now, every time I hear you sing, I realize just how different we are. You sing with compassion and strength. You sing from a place of love.” Aine paused to face Ai, his lips now pulled into a warm smile. 

“You sing from the heart.” 

Ai closed his eyes and let his own tears fall, muffling his cries into the sleeve of the professor’s jacket. His voice was shrill and choppy, but he could care less about how he sounded right now. He felt the professor tighten his grasp on him as he released his own shaky sob. The sound of something creaking echoed from behind as another set of arms wrapped around him, tightly holding them all together like a binding glue. He looked up at Aine’s face and saw the tears that streamed down his cheeks like waterfalls. One heartbeat became two. 

“I’m sorry,” Aine stated. “I’m so sorry it had to be like this. I just want you to be happy.” Happiness. It was a word he struggled to comprehend for the longest time. An emotion he thought he wouldn’t experience. An emotion he thought he couldn’t experience. And now, in the arms of the two people who loved him most, he felt a warmth unlike anything he’s ever felt before. 

“Don’t leave me.” He whispered as they continued to hold him close. And at that moment, two heartbeats became three.


End file.
